One of the things that you discover when you work with symbolic and archetypal material at any depth is that it has a way of getting under your skin. It soon begins to seem that it’s not so much that you are working on it, but that it is working on you.
That was certainly my experience this past week as I was reflecting on the psychological phenomenon of inflation following the release of episode 2 of this season: The Temptation of Inflation. It was no surprise, then, when I found myself, in the midst of my reflections, visited by a memory that dramatically Illustrated the danger of what Jung describes as “puffed-up-ness.”
It was a memory from a lifetime ago, well before Jungian Psychology entered my life, when I was still a young actor trying to make my way in the world of the theater. I was in my early twenties and performing in a touring show. The show was a broad, physical comedy with clownish, exaggerated characters.
In this particular performance from which the memory came, I was having one of those experiences that would happen from time to time on the stage where everything was going right and I was in complete control. I knew exactly the effect each gesture or raised eyebrow would have on the crowd. I could hear in my head how to phrase each line so as to elicit the biggest laugh, and I felt that I had the ability to play the audience almost like I was playing an instrument.
I understand very well what people mean when they describe being “in the zone,” because this night I was most definitely in it, though to me it seemed more like being in a larger mind. After drawing out an especially raucous laugh from the audience, I was flying high. I turned to make my next move — a simple leap up to a four foot platform in the center of the stage. As I did, I could hear this thought ringing out in my mind: “I am so good at this!”
If we do not recognize the presence of archetypal energies, says Jung, particularly in the heightened moments of our lives, or worse, if we deny that such powerful, autonomous energies exist, we are in danger of becoming identified with them, of believing that we are the creative power that works through us. And this, writes Jung, “is not only dubious in itself but a positive danger to the well-being of the individual.”
I leapt up, as I had countless times before, but this time, full of confidence — and full of myself — I gave it a little extra flourish.
Jung goes on: “Everyone who has dealings with such cases knows how perilous an inflation can be. No more than a flight of stairs or a smooth floor is needed to precipitate a fatal fall.”
I’m sure by now you’ve guessed what happened next. My foot slipped on the edge and I fell. My upper body came down hard on the platform drawing the biggest laugh of the night. It didn’t feel so funny to me. I was winded slightly but not seriously hurt. I made my way off stage utterly chastened, with a stinging sense that I had brought this upon myself.
I don't really remember what happened next. Here the memory fades out, as memories tend to do. There is nothing else, I guess, that I need to remember, nothing else I need to know.
It is still embarrassing for me to recall this experience and, I admit, it is uncomfortable for me to share. I am not immune to it. It is no mere relic of the past. Even today, I can feel the blow to my pride that comes with its recollection. I feel the way the memory punctures the place of my own “puffed-up-ness.” I imagine this is the point of its visitation, to keep me from getting too far off the ground.
Memory, I know, is a creative faculty, in much the same way that the dream is a creative faculty. It is not just a warehouse of events that happened once upon a time. It is as much a reflection of the present and an intimation of the future, as it is a description of the past. It has as much to say about who we are and who we are becoming, as it does about who we have been.
I don't like to acknowledge the temptation to inflation that is always present in me. I find some solace in knowing it’s not just a personal failing that should be overcome, but an archetypal reality with which we all must contend. It is, in a sense, part of the fabric of our psychological universe, something from which none of us ever finally escapes.
I take comfort that Jung, too, found it necessary to stay conscious of this possibility in his own psyche. As he says in the letter that I quoted at the opening of episode 2:
“Don't say too many good things, as I have to be careful not to be swayed away by megalomania. It is so important to keep close to the earth, as the spirit is always soaring up to heaven like a flame as much destructive as enlightening.”
One more memory from my acting days floats across the screen of my imagination as I write this. It is a gentler correction to the peril of inflation than the previous memory. It is a quote, first told to me by a director whom I admired very much. She was someone who brought a great deal of joy to her work. She believed in the power of story and in the magic of the theater. But she also knew there was a danger of getting “puffed up” when you come in contact with the creative depths of the psyche.
As performers she wanted us to soar, but she wanted us to keep our feet on the ground while we did it. She would repeat this quote — taken from the great acting teacher Stanislavski — almost like a mantra, pulling it out whenever she felt someone was getting too carried away with themselves, too inflated by their own cleverness.
“Love the art in yourself,” she would remind us, “not yourself in the art.”
Until next time.
Upcoming Events
Circumambulating the Self: An in-depth exploration of Jung’s concept of the Self on Saturday, November 12th through the C.G. Jung Institute of New England. For more information visit: www.cgjungne.com/circumambulating-the-self-with-jason-e-smith/
Oh that fall. That's such a powerful Moment - the whole minute which follows the fall.
Happened to me recently, as I was all dressed up, strutting, trying hard to look amazing to soothe a bruised ego. And then I tripped, in front of a small crowd. And that thought came up "THIS is the precious moment! The moment you get to practice true dignity. Can you fall like a child? Be sad, be scared, be dumbly surprised in front of everyone?"
Such a rich topic, actually, inflation... and a great episode as always.
*Gratitude*
Beautifully written, and very relatable. Is there a corresponding experience that prevents one from fully and appropriately enjoying a deserved success? A kind of shame maybe? If we’re sharing…